What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 11:01
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
How do I become mentally strong?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Do married men like sucking dick?
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
What are your darkest taboo confessions?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Why do I like to eat my own cum?
TEXT:
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
What great song was "ruined" once you really listened to the lyrics?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.